On Thursday, Donald Trump signed an executive order to revive the Presidential Fitness Test for school children across the U.S., a move The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert joked as meaning “now children will have to be as fit as President Trump.”
Bringing out a whistle during Thursday’s monologue, Colbert channelled his inner gym teacher to mock Trump’s order: “Alright everyone, hop on that golf cart and start poppin’ nuggets till your ankles swell like a balloon full of chilli. And dip, and munch, and dip, and munch. Now watch TV and yell, yell, yell.”
Colbert noted that the Presidential Fitness Test has been around since 1966, but as the Associated Press reports, “The program changed in 2012 during the Obama administration to focus more on individual health than athletic feats.”
“BOOOO!” said Colbert. “Make the children perform athletic feats for our amusement! I had to do it in school and so did all of you. And I think every child should have a chance to struggle through timed sit-ups while the meanest boy in school sits on their feet and farts. Think about it! If they don’t have to do that, where will the future comedians come from?”
Topics Stephen Colbert