Some say he’s the best thing to come out of Scotland since Irn-Bru.
Followed by the likes of Kylie Minogue, Ryan Reynolds and Ed Norton, he has already racked up over 500million views on social media, and is currently ripping it up as one of the most hilarious voices on the internet.
Meet Allaster McKallaster – a cross between Archie McPherson, John Motson and a rather dishevelled Rod Stewart. Scotland’s self-styled ‘premier commentator’, he’s all about the big hair, sheepskin coat, tartan tie, a shirt straight out of the 1970s, and of course, a well-worn kilt.
McKallaster’s favourite pastime? ‘Giving the English a right good hiding.’ The sort of thing that hundreds, nay thousands, of Scottish commentators would like to preach across the airwaves but would be hung out to dry if they did so.
‘I’m unbiased,’ McKallaster told Daily Mail Sport, ‘so I take no joy at all in seeing England lose or Scotland win. However, I do remember that the post-game pies were delicious when England lost the Euro 2024 final to Spain.’
The Scot, whose dream job is to work on a factory floor as the ‘quality control pie taster’, got his big break at the World Cup final in 1966.
Meet Allaster McKallaster – a cross between Archie McPherson, John Motson and a rather dishevelled Rod Stewart
‘I was swiftly banned from the BBC for suggesting that England cheated their way to victory, which they definitely did.England have consistently cheated their way through every game played since 1966. Again, that’s not my opinion, that’s just a fact.’
If you’re on social media, the likelihood is that you’ll already have seen his wares. From YouTube to Instagram, Allaster McKallaster’s works have now gone mega-viral. His commentary from 1966, for example, was a mammoth success. Particularly among the Scottish faithful.
‘England trying to claim that it was a goal,’ he exclaims in his summary, ‘the cheats that they are.. he’s given a goal. I don’t believe it…we’re never going to hear the end of it…’
Scotland’s famous Euro 2024 qualifying win over Spain in 2023, meanwhile, provided another huge opportunity, catapulting him into commentary greatness.
‘Tierney skins Carvajal like he’s an old Spanish sausage… Scotland 2, Spain 0. This is what we do. We’ll deep fry your paella, we’ll deep fry your tapas, we’ll deep fry your gazpacho soup, you come to Scotland, you’re getting battered.’
So who IS this rather irreverent character, who admits he ‘has a few cans before a game’, to ‘help loosen the vocal cords?’
McKallaster, it seems, is the brainchild of comedian, Pete Reid. A lawyer by trade, who has since become an ‘attorney influencer’.
Born in the southside of Glasgow, Reid grew up in Barrhead just outside the city, before moving to America. Originally, he wanted to be a writer, but that soon came to a halt after failing to get into Cambridge.
His commentary for Scotland’s 2-0 win over Spain in March 2023 went viral
Born in the southside of Glasgow, Pete Reid grew up in Barrhead just outside the city, before moving to America. Originally, he wanted to be a writer
‘I thought doing English at Cambridge would be a good way to get into comedy writing,’ he told Daily Mail Sport, ‘but they wanted me to read stuff like Shakespeare, and he’s not very funny. So I ended up doing law at Edinburgh instead.’
A life and a career in Texas soon beckoned, but a desire to write scripts, follow his love of comedy and have a laugh along the way, was never far from Reid’s mind.
His alter-ego emerged from a radio football phone-in show, where Reid would regularly appear as a guest. When that ceased, he moved into creating his own content, dubbing commentaries over old match footage.
Now this might sound like an easy gig, but be under no illusion, it’s not without its skills, including resourcing, research, editing and production.
For influencers, the payback for such endeavour, can sometimes be enormous. Online stars can regularly expect to gain huge amounts of cash, and kickbacks, from success on social media. Reid, however, says that’s just not the case in terms of the works that he’s putting out.
‘I’ve had over 500million views in total,’ he told Daily Mail Sport, ‘so you’d think I’d be raking it in. I’m not. Mostly, this is because I don’t own the footage for the commentaries, so that income goes to the Premier League or UEFA, or FIFA or whoever.
‘On Instagram, I get about 20million views a month and make literally zero. On TikTok, I only get revenue on videos over a minute long, and most of them are not.
‘Overall, it’s probably less than £1,000 a month. I’ve had offers, but none seem to fit the character. I’m still waiting for Tennent’s Lager or Irn Bru to call!’
Reid reveals that he makes far less from his role than you might think – especially on social media
He also shot to fame for his description of England ‘cheating’ their way to World Cup glory in 1966
Reid, who took the inspiration for McKallaster from his dad (a Pollock Juniors fan), is adamant he has no idea why his content is quite so popular.
The affable Scot has now been featured on ITV, Gary Lineker’s podcast, The Rest is Football and on multiple platforms around the globe. Even the Prime Minister of Australia is a fan.
In the future, we understand, a full-on show at the Edinburgh Festival may be in the offing. Although the city might have to reconsider its pricing. His recent Fringe show PINTS was cancelled early, McKallaster says, because ‘so many female guests demanded I buy them drinks’, and the price was unsustainable.
Undoubtedly, Allaster McKallaster has the enviable knack of bringing humour and laughter to a sport which can often take itself too seriously. Pies, pints and productions are in his DNA.
McKallaster revealed he’s currently ‘in discussions with several studios to make a full-length feature film based on me ordering and tasting pies around the world.’ You wouldn’t put it past him.
Reid, meanwhile, would ‘love to do stuff with BBC Scotland, or with Scotland’s national side’. Both, by the look of it, would be foolish not to oblige.
In the meantime, a host of new commentaries have swiftly come calling. ‘Someone just asked me to do commentary on the World Jeely Piece Tossing Championships!’ Reid says. An intriguing, if not mouth-watering prospect.
Could Allaster McKallaster be a voice for the ages, then? Sure. Why not? He may have some way to go, however, before he’s on a par with Bill McLaren.